Lodge Humour

After receiving his enterred apprentice degree the candidate returned home. His wife asked him what happened to him. Recalling that he couldn’t give up the secrets of that degree all he could muster was, “Well honey, there were a lot of walkers, talkers and preachers.” With a somewhat confused look on her face she asked what he meant. He explained, “Well, I couldn’t see anybody in the room and was guided around. I would stop then somebody would talk. Then I was guided around by someone else, was stopped, then somebody else talked.”

His wife then asked, “That explains the walkers and talkers … what about the preachers?”

He pondered for a moment then finally replied, “Well, often when somebody finished talking I would hear some other people whispering ‘Oh, God!’”

***

A small Lodge had had a string of bad luck. It was preparing to initiate a candidate on a steamy evening in June and it’s air conditioner had stopped working. After sweating their way though part of the work, the Master had asked the candidate what he most desired. The candidate replied “a beer”.

At this juncture the WM., being startled, whispered “light” to the candidate. “OK,” the candidate replied, “a lite beer.”

***

The temple board consisting of several old and frugal Master Masons were meeting to discuss the replacement of the lodge hall. After months of meetings, they finally declared that they had worked out the way to build a new lodge hall without spending any more money than needed. They stipulated three conditions that would be a cost savings. No. 1 – They would build the new lodge hall on the site of the current lodge hall. No. 2 – They would use as much of the materials from the original lodge hall in construction of the new lodge hall and No. 3 – They would continue to use the old lodge hall until the new one was built.

***

The festive board is coming to an end and the Brethren are preparing to make their way home.

Suddenly, a car bursts out of the car park and weaves unsteadily up the road, and is persued by the waiting patrol car. The officer asks the usual questions and soon ascertains that the driver is stone cold sober. Attempting to be friendly, ha askes the driver what position he holds in the Lodge. “Ah!”, replies the driver, “I’m the Junior Decoy…”