Joke 1:While visiting a newly initiated brother at home one day, the new brother's wife took me to one side and said her husband had started behaving very strange since joining.I asked in what way? She said that he locks himself in the toilet for hours on end mumbling to himself with his little blue book.Later that evening I turned the talk to lodge, and asked him how he was getting on.Oh fine was his reply.I asked him about his behavior and if there was anything wrong.No, was his reply.So why read the book there? Well he said "Its the only TILED room in the house"....
Joke 2:A small Lodge had a string of bad luck. It was preparing to initiate a candidate on a steamy evening in June and it's air conditioner had stopped working. After sweating their way through part of the work, the Master had asked the candidate what he most desired.The candidate replied "a beer".At this juncture the WM., being startled, whispered "light" to the candidate."OK," the candidate replied, "a lite beer."
Joke 3:A Candidate for initiation was to be picked up and driven to the Lodge, but before this could happen the car broke down. The Candidate said as it was no great distance he would go on his bicycle. Just when he reached the top of the hill his chain broke. As the Lodge was at the bottom of the other side and all he needed was a backpedal brake, so he repaired the chain with a cord he had in his pocket and free-wheeled downhill to the Lodge.Later that evening in reply to a toast in his honor, he said how proud he was to be a Freemason but could not understand, as he had told no one, how the WM knew that he had come on his own free wheel and a cord.
Joke 4: A man is walking through the recreation ground of his local park when he notices a huge fight in full fury on the football pitch he is passing. "What′s going on?" he asks a spectator watching from the side–lines. The other replies "It′s a match between the Masons and the Knights of Columbus." "What′s the score?" asks the first man. "I don't know, it′s a secret."
Joke 5: A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. Just before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had any last words. "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" "Why do you hate Masons?" asked the hangman. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Mason, the Judge who presided at the trial was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons!" "Is that all?" asked the hangman, " "Yes" replied the convicted murder. "Then you will advance one step with your left foot."
Joke 6: Found on a cup in a Lodge in Ireland: "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY".
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